


It’s Not What It Looks Like! (Except When It Is)

by Fluffypanda



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Identity Porn, M/M, Paparazzi, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8814451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda
Summary: Someone dressed like Captain America saved Tony from being kidnapped. Steve gets caught with his pants down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: **Not What It Looks Like**
> 
> If anyone was wondering, I'm freely mixing 616 and MCU background here.

“Put your hands up! You’re coming with us!”

In the face of uncertain odds, Tony stayed calm and collected. His heart certainly wasn’t pounding dangerously fast beneath his chest plate, nor was he sweating bullets, no siree. He was Iron Man and it’d take more than a couple or armed thugs to take him out, though that statement might have been more believable if he had a chance to get the armor on.

“This isn’t a good idea boys, trust me. Let’s put down the gun and talk about our options.” Tony’s voice held steady, like he said, calm and collected, at least on the outside.

“I don’t think so. We’ve got a big pay day ahead of us!” one of the thugs sneered while waving his weapon around in blatant violation of gun safety.

“Whatever you think you are going to get out of this, it’s not going to happen.”

Thug number two growled, “I’ve had enough of—”

_Thunk! Thunk! Clang!_

A whirl of color, red, white, and blue to be exact, flashed before Tony’s eyes and took out the two men that had been threatening him with a metallic sound. The shield clattered to the ground below a fire escape only to be picked up by a man in a familiar uniform.

“Are you okay, sir?” asked the maybe-but-probably-not Captain America. It had to be someone bringing out the old uniform, but the shield…

“Where did you get the shield? It’s not real is it? It looks like vibranium.”

“Glad to see you’re safe,” said the Star Spangled Copycat. “Take care.”

He dashed off, shield slung over his back. Tony only hesitated a moment, a couple of pedestrians were peeking into the alley, noisily calling attention to the situation now that the crime was over and Tony’s savior had fled. Figuring it was safe enough to leave his would-be kidnappers behind, Tony pursued the man dressed like Captain America. He wasn’t getting away without answering some questions.

A few minutes later, Tony’s heaving lungs let him know what a bad idea this was. While he was relatively in shape, the chest plate made breathing more difficult and with how fast the man was, it became a real problem. Sure that he had lost his prey, Tony slowed down.

That was his second mistake (or third, or millionth depending on how you wanted to count them), because running after him were a couple of paps, undoubtedly attracted by the rare sight of Tony Stark running through the streets. He immediately ducked into the nearest, darkest alley he could find.

He discovered that it was already occupied, by the single most beautiful man he’d ever seen in the process of pulling up his pants. On the ground next to him were a vibranium shield and a pile of blue leather.

“It’s not what it looks like!” cried the half-naked, blond wonder.

* * *

The man in front of Steve looked nearly as panicked as Steve felt, those striking blue eyes widened as they darted back in the direction he came from. What happened to the days when you saved someone and they just let you go on your merry way? The future didn’t play by the rules. Of course he knew that right from the start.

If nothing else, waking up alone on some Russian ship would have given him a heads up, never mind when he found out how much time had actually passed. Finding his way back home had been hard, establishing himself even harder, but through perseverance, luck, and the grace of good people he’d done it. Now, literally caught with his pants down, someone had found out his secret identity and it all could be ruined. Maybe it was his fault for thinking he could still be needed in this day and age.

Steve watched dumbly as the man marched over, shoved Steve’s uniform and shield against the wall, and pulled a trashcan in front of them. With one more look over his shoulder, he inexplicably fell to his knees in front of Steve.

The way he muttered “sorry,” was an odd contrast to the burning look he gave Steve. Almost completely thoughtlessly, Steve ran his hand through the man’s dark hair. The action earned him a devilish smile that made Steve think about things he really shouldn’t, and all of a sudden their relative positions made so much more sense. That wasn’t at all how he expected someone finding out his secret identity to go.

A flash went off, snapping Steve back from his fantasies. Two men, standing by with cameras, one handsome rogue on his knees, Steve, not only with his pants down, but visibly aroused. It wasn’t hard to do the math and figure out what kind of picture it added up to.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Steve repeated.


End file.
